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Here will b mah Journal
ill b updating it lyke
every otha day
iight? ? ?
Thursday-4-05 9:22pm. Likin Park- My December
itz jus 1 of them "goth" dayz taday... i feel lyke therez no point in living ( well Kevin n Rayray make it worth
living ) but i feel lyke i wanna go bac ta mah old self... tha gurl who enjoyed erasing her body soz much it would bleed...tha
gurl who enjoyed writing thingz full of hate wit her blood on her wall...tha gurl who enjoyed making every1z lyfe hell. i
duno wut makez me dis way... but fer some reason i lyke it.
wherez Seth when ya need him huh? ? ? n im leavin wit mah bro,bro,sis,mom,step popz, n mah bestestestestestestest home
gurl eva Jade. we're goin ta da citiez ( leavin @ 5pm ) n we're gettin a hotel n we're goin ta Valleyfair on da 6th... i duno
wtf im gonna do w/out Kevin hez lyke mah air i need him... i havent told him yet...i duno how hez gon react...wich makez me
more scared n in2 mah "goth" wayz. im gon stop now n go walk around...one y'all
Sunday-7-05 11:49am Natalie- Goin crazy
Damn... i havent talked ta Kevin in lyke... a day o.O
i miss him doe...lyke alot. @ tha hotel Jade n I went swimming n dis lil fucker wouldnt stop throwing ballz @ us... i
swear ta Jesus i would have punched him but he wuz only 7 n he wuz a lil cuttie! ! ! n then we went out ta eat @ lyke...11pm
haha n Jade n I were giving eachotha piggy bac ridez n i rolled down a hill wit mah white skirt n fucked it up ha n then we
went ta bed ( ha durrr ) n we woke up got dressed n went ta tha lobby n dis 19 yer old guy wuz tha front desk guy...n tha
hotel wuznt very busy soz he sat by Jade n I n started talkin ta me... n then he grabbed some freee AOL thingyz n threw em
@ me i wuz lyke o.O soz i threw some bac n we had lotzzzzzzzzzzz of fun he wuz soooooooooooooooooz fuckin awesome n then he
said i wuz cute wich supprised me ( cuz i think im ugly az fuck ya kno ? ? ? ) n i wuz lyke awww thanx n then he said i should
spend tha rest of mah lyfe sending him mail ( ha cuz he neva got ne ) n then i wuz lyke y dont i jus e-mail u n he wuz lyke
OK! ! ! n then i got hiz e-mail n AOL thingy n then we left ta go ta Valleyfair... i think he wuz upset dat we had ta go i
wuz sad cuz i wuz having a grate time! ! ! but then we went ta Valleyfair n Jade n I dressed up lyke old time hoochiez n got
our pic. tooken soz ill b posting that soon. n then we went on a biggie swing 18storiez high ( Jade mah fav bro ever n mahself
durrr ) n I got ta pull tha cord that made us jus fall outta tha sky on 2 stringz n shit n every1 wuz lyke kelz iznt goin
ta pull it shez not n we spent 50$ soz if i didnt pull it mah mamma would have been pissed off her ass soz i pulled it HOLY
SHIT COWZ it wuz soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooz much fun...n then we jus rode
ridez all nite it wuz tha bestestestestestestest but i miss Kevin sooooooooooz much
-_- but ima go cuz i got bit by something n i gotta go ta tha doc cuz it hurtz rilly bad n it lookz icky >.<
kelzey kay
Tuesday-9-05 4:15 Bone Thugz-N-Harmony: thuggish ruggish bone
well iznt lyfe a bitch... yup yup yup it sure iz...
i duno thurrrz not much ta say taday nuttin rilly happend...
jus lotz of fightz between me n Kevin... pissez me off >.<
but yea itz all gravy i guess... ~1~
kelzey kay
Thursday-11-05 3:50pm Daddy Yankee- No Me Dejes Solo
haha last night wuz tight az hell! ! !
mah momz got off work early n we went ta da mall ta get "SOME" skool clothez...we ended up spending 400$ n we
aint even close ta done yet hahahah 8 pairz of shoez 14 pairz of thongz 12 pairz of jeanz 6 sweat pantz 9 full fitz n 23 shirtz
n we still have lyke a bizzilion thingz ta go hahahaha krazy n then we went out ta eat n mah momz n step popz r talkin about
leavin eachotha wich iznt nefuckinthing new but yup thaz about it
~1~
kelzey kay
Wednesday 8-34-05 Evanesence- everybody's fool
I wanted to cut soz bad last night. I'm angry @ tha world, soz angry that I didn't even realize how angry I was, or when
it began until last night when I was laying on tha bed with tha blade in my hand, wanting to cut soz bad, but not wanting
people to know. Soz instead I jus made lil quarter inch marks on my arm, lotz of them. Not sure what else I could have done.
Watching the little droplets of blood form on my arm made me thirst for lotz more blood...But I survived, and I kept control...Cuz
that's what I need...is control.
n tha question is y did i wanna cut? ? ? ill tell u y...
after tha thingy wit Kevin i thought id never love again well turnz out i found tha guy of my dreamz omfj i loved him
sooooooooooooooz fuckin much...but now...im NOTHING notta damn thing 2 him haha yes we kno "lyfes a bitch" but im
gonna go now cuz this is jus fuckin wack lyka muthafuck
~1~
kelzey kay
im dying, praying, bleeding, n screaming
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